How I changed course from feeling depressed last week

MARY-ELIZABETH HARMON
Founding Mother, Chard & Stripes

Well, my sermons officially bit me in the butt last week:

I struggled to practice a core thing I preach.

And what’s that?

Stop telling it like it is and tell it like you want it. 

Like I’ve said 50 million times, our stories are like seeds: they bear matching crops. Just as oranges don’t grow from apple seeds, prosperity doesn’t grow from tales of woe, true or not. 

But boy, was I going hard on the tales of woe just days ago. 

I was feeling tired. Wiped out. Exhausted beyond belief. Depressed. 

Why?

Mostly because I’d been telling myself so from the moment I woke up.

And dwelling on things that aren’t working for me—not having my own home, the money to afford one or a solid plan for my mother’s care once I do—on top of saying they’re not working in the first place. 

Who knows, maybe the perfect place for me and my man won’t be free until October, so it’s been a blessing we haven’t managed to move. 

If you’re feeling too low to tell it like you want it, tell a simple truth to change course. 

Last week, I was waking up thinking, “I feel so tired.”

I knew that was only causing more tiredness, and after a week of feeling tired of feeling tired, I changed course by changing my tune first thing:

“Today is Saturday.” “Cardinals are red.” “I like cardinals.” 

Seriously, that’s what I thought when waking up this weekend. My tiredness didn’t disappear, but my depression lifted and I felt like writing.

(Part of me feeling depressed was from not wanting to write, which is unusual.)

Thinking drives feeling, so think boring over depressing. 

Or, …

When feeling depressed, don’t search for joy but relief. 

And a little more relief. And a bit more. And a bit more until you’re feeling good. Forcing happy thoughts can make your mind rebel and keep you stuck. 

“Today is Saturday.” “Cardinals are red.” “I like cardinals.” 

In nine mundane words, I managed to find relief as well as appreciation without forcing it. And all it takes is a mustard seed of appreciation to grow a matching crop. 

Last week, I considered not writing a story for today from fatigue.

But appreciating a bird got me out of bed and to the keyboard. 

And I so appreciate that.