How to live a great-feeling life.

How To Live a Great-Feeling Life.

Wanting to feel good, or better, is why we dream of being, doing or having anything.

But then we think ourselves through life and do nutty stuff like making great-sounding goals more important than great-feeling moods.

But what’s a great-feeling life if not great-feeling moods strung together?



Beyond thinking too much, we’re not the best at working things out or knowing when to play boss:

We try controlling people and outcomes but let them control our moods, which is risky because it’s rare everything’s tidy and to our liking.

To live a great-feeling life, be the boss of your moods, emotions and intentions but learn to surrender the rest.

When I learned about spiritual surrender, I wasn’t a fan.

I thought it meant giving up my dreams to do some boring-ass stuff God wanted.

But here’s what I didn’t get: Our dreams are gifts from God / Life / Higher Intelligence.

Surrender by setting more intentions, lightening your mood and going with the flow, trusting a great outcome is for sure.

When I was unemployed years back, I’d been feeling sort of numb and was scared of staying that way. I started sobbing and blurted, “Please, God, help me feel excited.”

My tears stopped. I closed my eyes. I sat there.

Feeling calm, my eyes bolted open:

After months of racking my brain, I knew what to write for a website I’d been wanting to make. Feeling excited for the first time in a long time, I ran to my laptop and started working on what turned into five essays (including a cringey version of this one).

Before that day, I couldn’t see how I might feel excited again. But once I gave God the wheel—open to trying almost anything—my numbness lifted, and I got divine ideas. The process was swift and painless, and my mood was better for months.

But surrendering my way to surgery wasn’t as easy.

The flow may seem to take you sideways, but it will lead you rightly if you follow your “funny feelings” and heart of hearts.

My uterus was the size of a watermelon because of fibroids.

For over five years, I prayed for a hysterectomy that I couldn’t see how to make happen: I was either uninsured or couldn’t afford weeks off from work to recover without pay.

I’d also been praying for years to catch a glimpse of fun work I could make for myself, and to find a nice job to do in tandem. But nothing was clicking.

My sister had urged me to come to Chicago, but I kept struggling in Atlanta until I’d had enough. Though I wanted to stay with my man, I knew that leaving town was for the best—I went to Chicago and wound up as my father’s full-time caregiver.

None of that felt great, but it all felt right.

And in time, feeling right trended up.

Thanks to caregiving…

I was in a state where I could get Medicaid—unlike Georgia—and had a “free” hysterectomy.

I started seeing great prospects for work I could make and jobs I could get.

I became super grateful for my health and time left on earth, which gave me the courage to be more of myself and stop hiding what I was thinking, and the peace to care less about being misunderstood, criticized, or disliked.

And the more I was me and stopped hiding, the freer I felt.

You can’t live a great-feeling life when holding back, so intend to be free—and feel free—and let life work out the details.

When I hopped on the plane to Chicago, I never imagined my deepest prayers would be answered. By surrendering, you may not get what you want, but expect what you desire or something better.